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La Pelota de la MUERTE!!!: Kicking back a Spicy Deal

“I’m gonna do a Jimi Hendrix”!??! Bloody hell!!! This is rad shite! It’s dark and a bit insulting to the brilliant Hendrix, but, to be fair, one of the few plans I have for my next life is to be a rock star and cark it around 30 by overdose, for instant fame: Step 1. Chuck yourself. Step 2. In less than 60 seconds your artistic career will go off like a bomb! I’m glad to know there are more chaps mucking in this fantasy, although of course it is all bollocks. (How am I doing until here?) [Not too bad…though web resources indicate that “cark it” is Aussie slang. —Ed(itor)]

These Goldie guys did a good thing bringing this subject, a cliché in art, out of the darkness. There is a small point to consider, however, about the pride of dead stars: If you really sucked but then died and became famous, you probably wouldn’t feel very comfortable on the stage of the afterlife with all the eyes on you, silently calling you a fraud. If, however, you really radically rocked–like Hendrix, Jeff Buckley, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Bill Evans, Luca Prodan, or Ian Anderson–and then died, accidentally or not, I bet fame in the afterlife isn’t troubling you. This is all supposition of course.

Aren’t you surprised I understood the lyrics, Ed?

And what about this part, “S.U.I.C.I.D.E, it might be messy but it’s money for free”? That’s a silly one: if you are dead why would you need money, earthly 3D money that is? I know, I’m a witchcraft/metaphysics nerd analyzing this song. Or this one: “How can I be a pop star when I can’t buy a gun?” Do you think Britney has a gun? That’s a scary thought!

And then they rap about trying to kill themselves because they want people to hear their songs, and they want “nuns at Saint Joseph’s rappin’ on smokin’ bongs.” That’s a funny image. I had to see it, and found this photo on the net. I wish the nuns were like this at my school.

I like these silly dudes, especially the guy who tries to kill himself and ends hanging from his scarf for a week until his landlord finds him–what a dork! I like people with dark humor and no respect for stupidity, so of course I like Goldie Looking Chain now.

It wasn’t an easy ball to digest. It took me some long minutes of concentration, but that “doo-beep doo-beep doo-t-teet teet teeeeeee” clarinet sound made them nice and funny long minutes. Thank Buddha for Foxytunes and SongMeanings! I don’t know how I lived without them. What? What did you expect? How else could have I understood it? I honestly did understand the part about doing a Jimi Hendrix, though, and I’m still giggling about it. Please, my beloved Jimi, forgive my disrespect. You know I totally worship you.

So, Ed, I’m playing this Pelota de la MUERTE!!! back to you, with both eyebrows raised and a naughty evilish smile. Catch this one from the great, the infamous, the pervy, the sinful, the British (of course), THE Metal Gods, Judas Priest. They are one of my most beloved bands ever in the whole world. I love them almost unconditionally. But that’s not the point, it’s just to add some tension. This is a spicy Pelota de la MUERTE!!!, I wonder what are you going to do with it. (*Evil smiles here*).

Judas Priest “Raw Deal”

La Pelota portrait lovingly hand-crafted by Mike

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Mache is a hippie witch that was born under Beltane's full moon. She enjoys talking to ghosts and interdimensional beings, and cooking for her friends and beasts. She has Chilean wine in her veins instead of blood,and at the moment she belongs to China.

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